This is my photo for the day....
I started writing things down in this book that come into my mind, mostly weird things, because thoughts go in and out so fast I can't remember them hours later and it drives me crazy!! I also am a list maker because I am an "organized ditz", so without lists I am a mess and drive my other personality, the anal retentive one, absolutely nutty. I was writing my ideas down on Costco receipts and junk mail that I leave in my car and then couldn't find them because loving husband sometimes just has enough of the mess in my car and throws everything away! Enter- cute book, excuse to spend money. And, as you can see I always like to have a cute colorful pen (in pink or purple) to write with. I will avoid all other writing utensils in the house and race around to find one of MY pens just to sign the pizza delivery receipt. Weird, quirky, can't believe I am even admitting it to you. Anyway......
One week in a previous Beth Moore (my idol) Bible study, oh, we are not supposed to have idols...I think I learned that in one of her lessons?!? She is my savior...oh no, that's not good either.....anyway I like her a lot! Anyway....we were supposed to get in a line and the Martha's were supposed to stand on one side and the Mary's on another (if this is not making sense to you , you MAY want to pick up your Bible once in awhile, I mean, please reference Luke 10:38-42) So, I had total confusion, but I stood more toward the Mary side because in my heart I know that is where I belong. My friends looked at me like I was on crack because they totally remember the themed, color coordinated, every child has to have a cute prize from the games and everything MUST be perfect Birthday parties I have thrown. After class that day I really put a lot of thought into that little exercise and I realized that I am a Mary, but I was thrust (ok I put myself) into a life of Martha. Somewhere in the course of my life I decided "I need to be in control and control everything around me to make sure everything goes right". I believed in God, but was way too worried about what others (meaning mere mortals) thought and making sure each one of my hairs was in place (I used to throw the curling iron if my hair did not look good, I have a little temper too but let's not bring out all my faults in one day) and seriously get anything other than an A in school, unheard of!! Then as an adult I was totally focusing on and worrying about the wrong things.
What I have come to realize, and this process was a painful and still ongoing one, I am really a Mary stuck in a Martha world of my own making, but the more that I have turned over to God, putting Him rightfully in the place of leading my life, the more peace I find. For the first time in my life I have no headaches (well, I do have kid and husband induced ones occasionally since I am trying to be honest here) and no stomachaches. I still worry and have to fight my "people pleasing" tendencies every day, but I know that it is okay to be a Mary, put God first, not clean my house and order take out!! I know you were wondering how I find so much time to be on the computer.......
I started writing things down in this book that come into my mind, mostly weird things, because thoughts go in and out so fast I can't remember them hours later and it drives me crazy!! I also am a list maker because I am an "organized ditz", so without lists I am a mess and drive my other personality, the anal retentive one, absolutely nutty. I was writing my ideas down on Costco receipts and junk mail that I leave in my car and then couldn't find them because loving husband sometimes just has enough of the mess in my car and throws everything away! Enter- cute book, excuse to spend money. And, as you can see I always like to have a cute colorful pen (in pink or purple) to write with. I will avoid all other writing utensils in the house and race around to find one of MY pens just to sign the pizza delivery receipt. Weird, quirky, can't believe I am even admitting it to you. Anyway......
One week in a previous Beth Moore (my idol) Bible study, oh, we are not supposed to have idols...I think I learned that in one of her lessons?!? She is my savior...oh no, that's not good either.....anyway I like her a lot! Anyway....we were supposed to get in a line and the Martha's were supposed to stand on one side and the Mary's on another (if this is not making sense to you , you MAY want to pick up your Bible once in awhile, I mean, please reference Luke 10:38-42) So, I had total confusion, but I stood more toward the Mary side because in my heart I know that is where I belong. My friends looked at me like I was on crack because they totally remember the themed, color coordinated, every child has to have a cute prize from the games and everything MUST be perfect Birthday parties I have thrown. After class that day I really put a lot of thought into that little exercise and I realized that I am a Mary, but I was thrust (ok I put myself) into a life of Martha. Somewhere in the course of my life I decided "I need to be in control and control everything around me to make sure everything goes right". I believed in God, but was way too worried about what others (meaning mere mortals) thought and making sure each one of my hairs was in place (I used to throw the curling iron if my hair did not look good, I have a little temper too but let's not bring out all my faults in one day) and seriously get anything other than an A in school, unheard of!! Then as an adult I was totally focusing on and worrying about the wrong things.
What I have come to realize, and this process was a painful and still ongoing one, I am really a Mary stuck in a Martha world of my own making, but the more that I have turned over to God, putting Him rightfully in the place of leading my life, the more peace I find. For the first time in my life I have no headaches (well, I do have kid and husband induced ones occasionally since I am trying to be honest here) and no stomachaches. I still worry and have to fight my "people pleasing" tendencies every day, but I know that it is okay to be a Mary, put God first, not clean my house and order take out!! I know you were wondering how I find so much time to be on the computer.......
I've never actually come across a bible based reason for computer addiction. Nice! :-)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, great post.
Good stuff!! Thought-provoking too...can you believe your provoking my thoughts?!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jen! I wish you were a little closer--Martha has never been one of my strong points and I could use a little more of her in my life.
ReplyDelete