Through Jens Lens

Don't even think about saying you are going to take some time for your self as a mom because someone or something WILL sabotage it...trust me, this is truth. You would think I would be the queen of self care....don't get me wrong in my house I am the queen of a lot of things, but self care ain't one of them. Growing up my dad loved reading self help books and sharing his insight with me all the while I moaned, "Dad stop, seriously, this is sooo boring...." and "seriously Dad, I'm trying to watch Days of Our Lives I don't care what Gandhi says" and "Dad, I do not want to meditate to bells and chimes" and last but not least "Dad!! I do not want to drink that weird stinky mushroom broth that's been sitting on the windowsill for weeks because it will make me healthy". One of my favorite BAD memories is when he made me do some fasting crap only drinking saline solution and then we ran out of toilet paper after the "heal...

Hello everyone...it's been awhile...holy cow! I was looking through my older blog posts below and that seems like a lifetime ago! I have restarted my blog to write about my journey these last few years of motherhood, marriage, financial changes, the good the bad and the ugly regarding eating right and exercising, weight gain, anxiety, postpartum OCD, sobriety and surviving (and of course enjoying) this thing called PARENTING! In my yoga class today someone said you have been parenting forever....um yes I have, yes I have. With no end in sight....thanks.... I return today to discuss my current health issues. I recently thought my hormones, as in premenopausal, were giving me a run for my money, but in fact those are still running strong and I guess could make a baby which IF that would happen you might as well send me to the farm...and not the one with cows. Seriously, that would do me in. In fact, I would pass it on to one of my kids to raise, just sayin'. So, I went to t...

Ok, I've got issues...oh, you already knew that?!?! Is that because everything I feel comes out of my mouth...see just one of my "issues"..... I would rather sit and read other people's blogs for hours rather than clean my house I would rather eat chocolate frosting than chicken and veggies for dinner I would rather sit on the couch and read than feed my family I would rather play Fantasy Football than sew or crochet I would rather relax by the pool with a People Magazine than study history or something else intelligent I would rather take pictures of people or things all day than get a real job I would rather sit on the beach all day with this view than run errands I want to be a good wife and mother with a spotless house and place beautiful healthy meals on the table and never raise my voice...BUT....this is just not reality for me!!! God bless my poor family......

I have not been on my blog since the beginning of school year and now we are about to be at the end!! It is amazing how working full-time can suck the life out of you. But, I now am a broke-at-home Mom...I mean stay-at-home-Mom so I have to have my outlets or I go crazy...hence my attempt at getting back to blogging. I always feel better if I blog rather than sit and read other people's blogs for hours at a time until I am cross-eyed and Sophia is pretending she has a broken leg just to get my attention. I want to write a novel, but the pregnancy has left me with only two brain cells in which to work with, so that will just have to wait. So, hopefully the three of you out there that read my blog, including you Mom, will appreciate that I have returned. Here is how I look now.....no, that is not one too many slices of cheesecake!

Well, it is that time of year...back to school. For most of you this means, the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, buying cute sweaters to stay warm, looking forward to the turning of the leaves and then soon after your first snow...... For us, it means hoping your crayons don't melt on the way to school, frozen water bottles so you don't get heatstroke at recess, that is if you can even play outside due to a possible heat advisory, wishing you could wear your bathing suit to school so you could plop yourself in the water fountain, and wishing the entree for the school lunch was a popsicle.....it is that time of year again.......back to school in the desert!!

All of the men in my life really are great fathers. My Grandpa, my Dad and Michael have all provided for, cared for, loved, and supported their children and grandchildren. I have wonderful memories with these men and they have helped form me into the person that I am. Fishing with Popo, running with my Dad and raising beautiful children with Michael. Obviously, I could name hundreds of other memories with these men (good and bad), but the common thread is that they have always been there for me, they are present, creating a security I could have never known without them. Thank you God, the number one man in my life, for providing me with so much fabulous testosterone!!

I have been gone a long time from the blogs...missing them very much!! Since I have a few months of my job under my belt I am hoping to get back to some of the things I really enjoy. So....here is an attempt to bring back the blogging baby!! Now if I can just get past this writer's block.........

Last Monday Sophie and I cleaned and organized her room, because it was atrocious! When I put her to bed she was pretty quiet so I thought, "I am going to get to watch the Bachelor in peace". Sophie is known for taking a good 1-2 hours to fall asleep with numerous requests for drinks, food, medication...as well as walking downstairs with night light and blanket in hand claiming she is sleepwalking, or she almost heard a dog bark. So, last night after about 40 minutes into the process she calls me up and I am like Sophie, "what is wrong, I thought you were asleep". So, she tells me the usual "I'm scared". And I say, "Scared of what?" and she says, "well,my room is so clean it is scaring me!!" Bad Mom.....

It is easy to look to God and ask, "Why is there so much poverty in the world? Why is there so much hurt, so much inequality and unfairness, so much destitution?" I bet He would ask us the same thing. -Katie-kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com

I loved this book, it was one of my all time favorites so, I can't wait to read her new one...... I will let you know what I think!

There are things in my life that I enjoy and love to pass onto others: names of good books, movies I loved, great running songs, and my most important obsession, fabulous blogs and websites!! The Pioneer Woman has held the esteemed position of my favorite to pass onto others, especially women....she is funny and we can relate to her in some crazy fashion, although I often find myself saying, "Is this woman on crack, how does one have so much energy in a day". To this, Michael says, "it's called a staff Jen"....which of course shatters my entire self deprecating act of wondering why I can't be as great as her?! Anyway.....I have found a blog (and I am late on this bandwagon let me tell you) that makes me happy...just gives me a smile and a good laugh. I have been holding off on putting it in my links section due to, well lets just say, some controversial Mormon opinions....but, if I could pull this woman out of her living room (not her kitchen because she onl...

Okay, I have been busy and lets just say a tad bit overwhelmed which essentially causes me not to blog or photograph, or write....or do much of anything except sulk. So, this morning I have the ultimate "woe is me moment" and actually cry so hard I think I might puke (sometimes a girl just needs a good cry right)...well, wrong...I continued to walk around the house cranky and ineffective. So, I made myself some comfort food (homemade mac and cheese-full of fat and calories...yum) and sat down to read kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com for a reality check. AND, that is exactly what I got. This young girl is such an amazing, mature, God loving and fearing woman and she just takes my breath away...literally, because I cry when I read her blog. I am always amazed that when I am needing some insight, God always has the ability to get me the information I need exactly when I need it. And it took the Sunday entry on this blog to snap me right out of my self centered mode. I wish I could a...

Why is my daily life like this..... and not like this? Why is my daily view this..... and not this??

First of all, I had to use an online dictionary and still had trouble spelling the title of this blog entry without looking at the correct spelling three times before I got it right!! A couple of weekends ago we were outside working on a step for our balcony (okay, Michael was working and I was sipping a diet coke and spying on my neighbors). Anyway......Sophie was enjoying being outside riding her bike and her scooter, kicking her soccer ball, basically being entertained without my assistance, bliss! So, I sneak inside and get on the computer...no, I was not on facebook, well maybe for a few minutes I was. I heard Sophie come in and out a couple of times, but did not really pay attention to what she was doing, don't worry, she is 6 and she is a girl so rarely is she "up to something" bad. Then a few minutes later Michael comes in and says you have to see this, so I grudgingly go back outside. But, the interruption was worth it-she had set up a table with a sign and was a...

My lovely, smart, tv watching daughter is the perfect audience for infomercials. She gets so excited with these products, pausing the television and making Michael or I watch them as she demands the products by the end of the day or for her birthday. If she had a credit card.....watch out!! For her Birthday all she wants are these: (benderoos, snuggie-blanket with arms, hangers you can bend) and this for Dad because he is good at fixing things: She actually obsesses over these items daily, she got that characteristic from Michael by the way.

Tiler turned 16 this week. It is one of those things that seems like it took forever, but yet went by so fast?!? Here are some recent pictures of him playing soccer and some thoughts on Tiler. Although, he is the teenager I have been complaining about, there are plenty of great things about him. he is very laid back and in a family of intensity this is often a breath of fresh air he is a morning person and I have never once had a hard time waking him or getting him off to school, in fact since about second grade he has gotten himself off to school on time without any help he loves to be on the go and have fun and he has a ton of energy-enough for several people he is athletic, no matter what sport he played we were never the parents in the stands going "that's not my kid" (unless he was throwing a fit) he loves his sister and can be very sweet with her, he doesn't do anything to antagonize her (she on the other hand gives him a run for his money!) he is very smart and...

Another day in the life of Sophie's Barbies. Here is how I found them after her bath the other night. Then I noticed that their clothes are off (see they are by Ken's head as if he ripped them off himself) and so I took a peek under there and sure enough they are naked! This post really needs no more words other than I DO NOT let her watch the playboy channel!

Here are some things I feel have come with turning 40: contentment peace knowledge comfortable in my own skin (even if that skin on the back of my arms flaps around when I wave) spirituality, a wonderful relationship with God maturity (don't laugh, I am more mature now!!) love for all others (even you Lance) quality friendships ability to laugh at myself loving, forgiving relationships with women instead of competing with them or comparing myself to them knowing what unconditional love feels like (my children have given me this gift) a totally sick sense of humor that I just can't get rid of and of course wrinkles, bad eyesight, and random unwanted hair growth turning 40 wasn't so bad after all!

Most of you have probably read about the marathon on my facebook page, but I thought I would write a little more detail here. Something strange has happened though. Since the marathon I have been so tired I can't even put words together and have not had an ounce of energy to write or get anything done. I even left Sophie at school without lunch one day this week....I know this is very scary, because that is just not like me. I had no idea I would be this tired, sore, and just plain "out of it" the week following the marathon. The big question is....would I do another marathon...my answer is yes, but would I train for another one....ummm...not so sure. The marathon experience was great, from the expo, the anticipation, running in such a big group of people and experiencing the run along with them as if you knew them as more than strangers, the outhouses (well not so much those-I was the only runner that took antibacterial wipes into the porta potty before the race). The la...

-my Dad has always wanted me to (and he won't get off my back until I do) -I can eat whatever I want during training (like the two whole cream cheese poundcakes my Mom made during the holidays that I hid in the back of fridge so my family wouldn't find them and ate them entirely by myself) -when I turn 40 this month I will hopefully know that I can at least run far even if the rest of my body is falling apart and I have to hold things way out in front of me to read them -Michael ran one and I can't let him hold that over my head (noooo, I'm not competitive) -I have a great excuse to get out of my house away from my kids and listen to my IPOD for hours at a time (this is my favorite reason) -I get to buy cute new running clothes without guilt because I am actually running in them -I get to show up ay Sophie's school in the morning in sweats and a hat with the excuse that it is a running day (even when it's not) -it's is the only way to spend time with Lyric b...